How Do I Get Over a
Long Term Relationship?
If you’re asking the question “How
do I get over a long term relationship?” there’s no
doubt you’re in a lot of pain at this moment. When a long
term relationship ends it’s hard to imagine that the pain will
ever go away and that life will go on.
Naturally it’s harder if you’re the one
who’s been rejected (few things are worse than being told by
someone you love that they no longer want to be with you), but
it can be difficult to get over a long term relationship even
if you’re the one who initiated it or if it was by mutual
It will take time, but know at the outset
that you can get over the relationship and even be a better
person for the experience. However your future is up to
you. How well you emerge from the end of the relationship
depends on your response. You need to take responsibility
for taking care of yourself.
Some people wallow in self-pity and
self-deprecation. They cling to the false notion that
their ex was their “one and only” and that they can’t possibly
be happy with out them. If you get stuck in that belief, you
can indeed make yourself miserable. It’s not the absence
of you ex making you miserable. It’s you doing it to
The idea of a “one and only” is a fallacy
spawned by decades of romantic misrepresentation.
The truth is that there are any number of
wonderful people you can be happy with. But that’s down
the road. First you need to start the process of getting
over a long-term relationship in a way that serves.
To begin, accept that it is a grieving
process and will take some time. You can expect to go
through the stages of grieving including denial and
Here’s a comment about the anger phase to
keep in mind. Anger is understandable and can even be
appropriate for a short period of time. Note your anger
and express it in a safe manner (hitting a punching bag worked
for me), but don’t get stuck in it and don’t act upon it toward
Anger is an improvement over depression
because it has some energy around it so it can be a passing
through point in the process of getting over an ex but you
don’t want to stop there.
In particular, since you feel so much pain
it won’t be surprising if you at some point you fantasize about
exacting some form of revenge on your ex.
Go ahead and fantasize about it but don’t
act on it. No matter how badly they’ve behaved, you
shouldn’t react in kind. In the long run, you’ll feel
better about yourself and you won’t have done anything in the
heat of the moment that you later grow to regret.
You might like to visit the page How To
Get Back At Your Ex if you're tempted to act on the urge
How Do I Get Over a Long Term Relationship - Part 2 I'll
give you some of the most important steps you need to take to
handle the break up successfully. Click that link to go
it's not too late...