How Do I Get Over a Long Term Relationship Part 2

This is the second of two parts.  If you want to visit Part 1, click this link:

How Do I Get Over a Long Term Relationship

With those preliminary comments made, here are some specific steps you can take to get over a long term relationship.

First, make a commitment to a clean break.  This means avoiding any contact with your ex – no phone calls, emails, texting or whatever. 

Depending on your situation, some contact may be unavoidable in the short term (for example if you’ve been living together).  Minimize these events, get them over with as soon as possible and keep any unavoidable contact brief.

Even if you still harbor thoughts that maybe the relationship can be saved, now is not the time to resume contact.  Your first priority has to be to take care of yourself and a clean break is the best way to do that.

As an aside, it turns out that being aloof is also a good way to rekindle interest, but that’s not the topic here.

After you’ve made that commitment, remove any mementos and reminders from your living space. 

Some people make a point of burning old love letters or throwing anything that had to do with their ex in the trash.  Whether you do that or not is up to you.  You may want to save a few reminders of the good times, but for now put everything away, preferably someplace where you can’t get at them easily. 

The aim is to remove any reminders that might trigger and emotional response.

One danger in the early stages of a break up is to idealize your ex – to think of them as the epitome of what you want in a man or a woman.

Let’s face it – nobody’s perfect, especially you ex (they broke up with you, didn’t they?  Proof of bad judgment right there :-)  

To keep the record straight, take a few minutes to write down your ex’s weak points, their annoying habits, some examples of when they behaved poorly. 

The point here isn’t to bash you ex or engage in sour grapes thinking.  It’s just to help you get a realistic view of the situation. You might decide that you better off without them.

The next recommendation is to stay busy. 

Ideally you have friends and hobbies that you enjoy that you can now turn more of your attention to.  However an all too common problem is that someone put so much time into the relationship that they let their friends and hobbies slide.  Now’s the time to correct that.

As part of staying busy, be sure to exercise.  If you already have a regular exercise program, kick it up a notch.  It will so a lot for your mental well being as well as your physical health. 

Find ways to laugh. 

Being with friends can help.  And so can looking at DVDs of sit-coms and comedies (probably best to avoid romantic comedies for the time being).  The physical benefits of laughter have been well documented and it’s great antidote to a lot of the other emotions you’re likely to go through now.

Although every relationship is unique, you definitely are not the first to experience the heart break of the end of a long term relationship. 

Take courage and hope from this fact.  Others have become better, stronger, more mature and ultimately happier from developing the emotional and personal skills needed to  get over a long term relationship successfully.  You can do it too. 

Having given you all this information about how to get over a long term relationship, I want to give you a bit of advice if you may decide you want to give the relationship one more try.

The advice boils down to this: don't try it without expert advice. No individual has tremendous experience in dealing with a troubled relationship and given the intense emotions in such situations it's not surprising that people do a miserable job on their own.

There are a lot of relationship guides out there but only a few that I can recommend. One of the best is Second Chance Romance.

You can read my review of it at Second Chance Romance Review.

If you just want to find out what the method is all about you can follow the links I provided below.

Wishing you all the best.

 Get Second Chance Romance