How to Know When a Long Term Relationship Is Over

There’s no doubt about it. As good as relationships are, they also make us vulnerable to heartbreak when they end.

Sometimes a relationship clearly should end. More often, the relationship will be just OK. Not bad, but not great either. How do you know when a long term relationship is over?  when should a long-term relationship end?

If things seem a little dull now is this a temporary condition or the beginning of a downward spiral? Should you invest more time and energy into the relationship or cut your loses and move on?

First, realize that all relationships go through phases.

It’s normal for things to settle down some after the initial excitement of getting to know someone we’re attracted to romantically.

Ideally a profound and enduring love replaces the initial excitement. A dry spell in a relationship may mean it shouldn’t continue, but it may mean that maybe it needs adjusrtment.

Here are some suggestions to help you decide.

There's No Place for Physical Abuse in Any Relationship

Physical abuse is a deal breaker. Get out of any relationship that’s physically abusive. 

Period.

Unfortunately, people who resort to violence routinely almost never change. Even if they promise to change, don’t stay in the relationship.

Very, very rarely, if the violent person has had extensive counseling and has learned anger management, it might be worth the chance of getting back together. But most often not.

If you really think they may have changed only consider getting back together after you've spoken with their psychologist or counselor and they agree that it would be safe.

 Does Your Relationship Have a Solid Foundation?

Do you and your partner truly like and respect each other? Do you share similar values? If you don’t, it might be a serious caution flag.

We all have needs and one of the reasons we’re in any relationship is to have some of those needs met. Does your partner understand this and are you both willing to work together to meet each other’s needs and desires? In not, the relationship may prove to be unsatisfactory for the long term.

Does your partner regularly behave in ways that you find intolerable? Leaving the cap of the toothpaste probably doesn’t qualify as a reason for ending a relationship, but perhaps being rude to service people or routinely going to anger as a default emotion is.

Many times there isn't anything intrinsically wrong with a long-term relationship. Instead, it's just become a little dull.

Just because people love and respect each other it doesn't mean that they'll automatically be able to keep their relationship fun and engaging. As I've noted on many other pages on this site, known teaches us relationship skills as we grow up.

On How to Know When a Long-Term Relationship Is Over Part Two I'll give you a few more factors to consider when you examine your relationship.

However from what I've seen most long-term relationships don't need to end. In fact, they shouldn't end. By stopping too soon the couple loses the opportunity to experience a truly deep and meaningful relationship.

In almost every situation I've seen the people involved would be much better off if they learn more about how to build a close relationship and developed advanced communication and relationship skills.

But people need help learning how to do this.

An excellent source of information is The Magic of Making Up. To some extent it focuses on how to get a relationship and crisis healed.

However, as you can imagine, if you learn the skills that allow you to make up successfully after breakup you'll be in an excellent position to nip serious problems in the bud before they actually become severe enough to threaten the relationship.

Follow the link below to find out more about this highly effective system:

Magic of Making Up System

A more comprehensive course I can recommend is The Save My Marriage Today Premium Home Study Course.

This is a 12 part video course with transcriptions and workbooks - in short a comprehensive course - that addresses virtually every problem a marriage can face and how to successfully deal with it.

It lays out very practical, workable approachs to some of the more difficult situations a marriage or any long-term relationship might face.

For example, the course certainly doesn't condone these behaviors but it recognizes that infidelity and drug addiction are realities in many relationships. It gives very appropriate and wise advice on just how to deal with these most difficult situations.

I hope you're not facing a situation as serious as that. If you are, then you really should consider getting this course. You'll need the expert advice you'll find here.

Even if your situation is that drastic, there's much to be gained from what you learn in this course. I like to think as gathering this information and developing the skills taught in courses such as this as "marriage insurance".

Save My Marriage Today Premium Home Study Course